Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
