My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
