the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
