Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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