I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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