I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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