Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ketchup is God's man juice
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
