Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
