I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
