We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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