i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
