i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
