At least make sure they are 18
Why
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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