do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
