At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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