i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
