Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
