considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
