have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
