HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Buhtt sex?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm just crazy horny about you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
