Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
