ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
