the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and she was petting her beer can
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
