allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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