that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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