i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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