Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
