If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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