I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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