you guys were way drunker than both of me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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