Kiss
Puke
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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