ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
