i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
