At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
