i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
