I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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