She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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