I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
