I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
