You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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