after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
