I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
