yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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