I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
