is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
