so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Still dying that you shit outside
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
