This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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