community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
