he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
