i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im part way to drunk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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