ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
