Where is the hickey?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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